Dropping science like Galileo dropped the orange

nervous and excited for vegas

im at school. in several short hours my gal pal will be picking me up with her older sister and then we begin our drive to Pleasanton to meet up with their family. i will then begin the long, exciting drive in a cramped car full of women to Las Vegas to celebrate Katie’s 21st birthday.

im excited as i’ve never been to Vegas. im nervous because i’ve never gone out for a weekend with a girlfriend’s family before. im more nervous because i say stupid shit and do crazy things when i get drunk. her parents and siblings like to party, i like to party. i just dont want to party and tell hilarious stories about katie. i also dont want to embarrass myself in front of them.

i’ve already cleaned my apartment from top to bottom to impress her sister as they stayed at my place last night and are hanging out there now, waiting for me to get out of my history class.

dear god, grant me one of two things. 1. That i impress the crap out of everyone and they see me as the magnificent example of awesomeness that i am or 2. Let me win a shit ton of money the first night so i dont have to dollar menu it in front of her rich ass white family.

as of late

i hang out with almost no one. my roommate is always gone so im pretty much home alone all the time. im beyond broke, budgeting to make rent, and now katie’s family wants to fly me out for some suprise trip for her birthday somewhere. i dont think i will have the money and im freaking out. i hate rich, white people. so very, very much. why cant they just go to chuck e. cheese like i do every year?

anywho. bummed out again about the Spielberg “Old Boy” adaptation. really want to have a day with someone, anyone, to watch zombie movies or at least musicals. my life has taken a complete 180degree turn… again. fuck im bored.

sick bro!!!

been sick since sunday. bought a new pipe. typing an essay at school on my day off. about to cap off the day though jamming with all my buds from the music department, i get to do back up vocals and maybe some leads. it shall be epic and fun. maybe even good-natured.

for some weird reason

i find myself online today searching for good schools for film studies and cinematography. don’t know why but out of the blue i think my love of analyzing cinema and preaching film history is over-taking my love of teaching and playing music. i think im going to keep my ear to the ground with this major.

FREE!!!

so after an unnecessarily busy night at work i received a phone call from my mother. apparently her boyfriend’s son is receiving a free car from his grandmother and so they are going to give me his old car for free. which is only slightly awesome as MY father originally bought the car for my little brother. after a year of not having a car, im finally going to get it. can’t be too mad though, a free car sure as hell beats the life i’ve been living. in other news i still have no idea where im going to be living next semester, but im hoping to stay in vacaville. once i transfer though, i vow to stay in the same house or apartment for two years just to stick it to life. upon that discussion, my roommate Jon told me he thinks im a nomad. saying that i haven’t lived in one place for a long enough time to know what it feels like to settle down. im praying to God he’s wrong because i desperately want to stay in one place for more than a year.

weird night

so last night i came home from work to find my roommate jon had started drinking some beers. i was bummed out as he has been staying sober a lot lately and i hate him when he’s drunk. thats when he revealed to me that his 93-yr old grandmother is in the hospital with intestinal complications and in severe pain. normally i wouldn’t care much for a dying old woman because thats wheat old people do. but jon has a different relationship with his grandmother. you see… jon was born and “raised” in Queens, New York by a junkie/druggie of a mom. when he was 7 or 8 she abandoned him and he was fortunate enough to locate his grandmother and his father. in her 70’s she took jon in and raised him until he moved in with his dad later on. so jon isn’t losing his old, silly grandma, he’s losing his equivilent to a mother so that was a weird night.

later on in the evening he informed me that it was time to start thinking about moving out. not immediately. but after this semester. jon doesn’t really want it to be like that but after this bout with his grandma i think he realized that he needs to be with his son everyday. a boy needs his dad, as they say. so i have two to three months to find new lodgings and i dont know where to go. i can go to sacramento, i can go to chico early, or i can stay here and finish out the school year at solano. im confused and just wish i didn’t have to move all the time. i agree with jon and im EXTREMELY happy that he wants to be the best father he can be because little Julian needs a great father. im just bummed that the pad just started to feel like home, and now i have to leave again.

my dream is not only to be a music teacher now, but to also live in the same house or apartment for more than a year. someday justin…. someday…

fmylife:

Today I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with “Well at least I know who my biological father is.” I have no idea if he’s joking. FML

 the reason why i know i’d be a bad father. i could never help myself from saying such fucked up things for a laugh.

and on a more serious note:

txtsfrmlstnght:

(917): so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

 

just spent saturday to tuesday with my “ex” katie. not sure but i think im in a long distance relationship with her again, and im ok with it. we spent four days smoking, watching movies, cooking, and babysitting jonny’s baby boy. it was the most romantic and relaxing weekend of my life despite working every single day. i was more stoked that she hung out with my friends while i was away at work AND she cleaned my whole apartment. the whole night after she left i had to try and stop freaking out about commitment since i have left her before and am afraid of serious relationships… it was easy though when i remembered that the girl cooks, cleans, does my laundry, watches sports, loves awesome movies, makes me laugh, and smokes me out. i think i may need to go sleep around this year because im pretty sure when i move to chico this summer im marrying that girl.

fmylife:

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, “I’m not David.” Then, with an Italian accent, he said, “It’s-a-me! Mario!” FML

 i miss living with a girlfriend. funny sex was the best.

on that note, financial aid is run by retards. i’ve been fucking around with the IRS for two weeks for copies of my mother’s and my own tax returns because the lady at the financial aid office said i had to get those to process my file. today i was bored as all my morning classes were cancelled and dont have a ride home so i went to ask financial aid how long it would take to process my file after i got my tax returns, the girl at the desk said i never needed them and then sent my file back to process. she said i should have my money next week. the first fucking bitch just delayed my money for two weeks and now im dead broke since i am paying for my rent and books out of pocket.

im going to kill the first bitch and then buy the second one roses. also she’s japanese so i would consider putting out for her.

j/k, i’d go down until she saw jesus high-fiving muhammed.

txtsfrmlstnght:

(713): I decided you couldn’t drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
(832): I wanted to see November 5, 1985

 oh MAN do i miss partying. nights in which i “drink” now usually consist of me watching re-runs of Mad Men alone, wishing i wore a suit everyday, smoking a pack of cigarettes, and wondering when this year will be over so i can move back to Chico.

also i hooked up with my ex Katie a lot and shared a very romantic day at the beach. twas cute. but we both agreed that we can’t date and do long-distance. we both enjoy partying too much. we’ll see whats up when we live in the same town again.

its so confusing

to be pining oddly for three people at once.

one who screws me over emotionally yet meets all of my dreams as a female. one who i pine over as the girl who “wants me” yet does not want to date (which all of my friends  say is the dream.) and one who i pine for because i know deep down that she is the perfect mate in her attitude and personality.

i wish all my stuff was moved already.

i just jumped at the chance to go visit the third girl tomorrow night for just an hour or two. i’d like a relationship with a legit person again. none of this emotional baggage or purely sexual attraction anymore. please god, lets go legit.